The secrets to having a good relationship

Dear friends,

There are ways we can have a good relationship with our spouse and partners. The methods are not hard. How ‘hard’ it is to implement is dependent on how much you really want this relationship. How much we want ANYTHING IS HOW HARD WE MAKE IT IN OUR MINDS. The reasons why you find it hard to implement changes in you in order to have a good relationship, could be due to these few things perhaps?

1. Subconsciously you don’t feel the relationship is worth it.

2. You are using the person, so they stay or leave you could care less. It is only for your personal advantage.

3. You didn’t even know your actions were affecting them in such a manner.

4. The person has hurt you so much, but you are afraid you won’t find someone else.

5. Low self-esteem overall.

6. You don’t want to be conscious of it because it is too much work.

7. You can find someone else easily you think.

8. Fear.

9. You don’t care.

10. Convenience.

11. You want to punish them. Revenge.

12. You want to punish yourself.

13. You don’t deserve better.

14. You don’t want to be alone at all costs even at the cost of your happiness. Ironic as it sounds.

15. Wrong cultural beliefs about women. About men. About relationships.

16. You just wanted the spouse for the kids and the spouse doesn’t matter. Or you’re stuck because you had the kids.

17. You have this relationship because you simply can.

18. Rebound.

19. For money or lack of it.

20. Showing off.

21. Keep family quiet.

22. Desperation.

23. Immaturity.

24. Unwilling to face facts and move on.

25. Spoilt. Things have been always easy for you so no one else matters except yourself. Sadly, in the end, you will need others.

26. Maybe none of the above and there are more reasons both valid and invalid.

27. For the passport or citizenship. Asylum.

28. You have nowhere to go.

29. Tradition. Face.

30. Medical condition. Mental or physical. (Get help because your partner and you are worth it.)

31. Parents.

32. Combinations or variations of the above.

You have to check if it’s any of the 32 listed and figure out why. Deal with it. Face it. And do something positive with it. Most of all be honest, be open, be communicative and keep your promises always. Face the music, overcome it and be in a healthy situations with or without a relationship ultimately. You and your partner deserve it.

Whether relationships go right or not is from the onset. You have to ask yourself WHY DID YOU GET TOGETHER WITH THIS OTHER PERSON IN THE FIRST PLACE. If the motivation was purely self serving, then as time goes on, things will unravel for sure. Think carefully.

Some thoughts on love relationships

1. Never make promises then you break them with your spouse. It is the best way to destroy something good.

2. The best way to love someone is to be the best you can be. In all relationships, being the best can only boost your partner’s trust in you.

3. Love is a word used lightly sometimes. Love must entail loyalty, compassion, genuine care, sharing and honesty.

4. In all relationships, honesty is most important. If you are honest, your relationship will grow stronger and better with time.

5. What you get out of a relationship is what you put into it. You want it to be positive then treat your partner with respect, loyalty, honesty and good communications.

6. It takes a years to earn the trust of your spouse, but one selfish mistake to break their heart. Then years to regain their trust again. Just be honest from the beginning and always be loyal.

7. There is so much samsara out there, why bring more samsara into your relationship with your partner.

8. Everyone has so much pain already. No one is not damaged goods. So why bring more pain to your partner. Love, cherish and respect your partner by being honest and always communicating.

9. I am sorry is ok once, twice but not three times. If you are always apologizing, maybe you are not respecting the relationship you are in. Either respect your relationship or create a prison. It’s up to you.

10. Love is intentional. So are affairs out of marriage. You choose what you want. But remember, whatever you choose will come back to you if you are choosing for selfish reasons.

11. No one forced you to have a relationship. So do not make excuses for hurting your partner. Take responsibility for all your actions starting with your partner.

12. When you can’t keep a relationship and it always ends after a while. That is your subconscious saying you really don’t want a relationship but you are using this as perhaps an excuse to avoid some bigger issues.

13. All things are avoidable, it’s how selfish we are not to avoid it…

14. When we look back and see how many partners we have changed, we can be sure it is a sign we have not fulfilled what we should be doing in life. Finding partners is just a delay tactic perhaps for what we should really be doing..

15. Partners and spouses are only ok to have when we are ok.

16. Sometimes deep seeded insecurities manifest in us not being able to keep a relationship and we keep changing them. We should work on ourselves instead of finding more partners to hurt.

17. The best way to hurt yourself and your partner is when you use them to hide behind your selfish avoidances.

18. When you are comfortable with yourself and you can be by yourself, that is when you know you are ready for a real relationship. It’s not about the other person, it’s about how you have accepted yourself first.

19. If you hurt your partner in anyway and blame it on a outside reason, it is a clear indication you are covering your deep selfishness.

20. You deserve what you give. The universe owes you nothing. But you owe the universe everything. Be comfortable with that thought first and then seek friends.